What to expect after trauma exposure and what to do
Normal feelings now
First know that you are going to feel overwhelmed, guilty, angry (if you’ve seen poor practice or felt under-supported), scared of the implications or intensely sad for the family involved. You might also feel completely numb. Whatever you are feeling, let it be there. And as much as possible try to feel all that you are feeling in your body. A cup of tea with sugar is helpful, but not the solution. And words of reassurance are not going to work right now. Ask for someone to be with you with whom you feel safe and can just be, with no expectations.
Your wise brain and its strategy
For the next month or so, your brain will be seeking to sort through what happened and will bug you with images you don’t want to see and memories you would rather never recall. It will even stir them into your dreams at night. Triggers for intrusive thoughts might be simple, sensory and unavoidable – smells, textures, sights and sounds. They will come without warning and knock you sideways. This is horrible, and normal.
What you’ll be tempted to do
Know that you’ll be tempted to shut it all out. You might be tempted to drink alcohol or do other things that help drown out the feelings and distract from the intrusive thoughts. You might be tempted to avoid work itself, to avoid the places and people that might trigger memories. You might be worrying that people at work are talking about the event or about you. Try to remember that these events will happen to all of us in our midwifery careers and that it’s only when we talk that we feel the empathy of those around us. Empathy is much more likely than judgement. If or where there is judgement, it comes from a place of fear – that person is trying to remain safe, to avoid being the next person exposed to what you have just experienced. That doesn’t necessarily help you in the moment, of course.
What is best for your brain and your wellbeing
For the next few days, first eat well, exercise, try to sleep and rest when you can. Even when it’s hard, try to talk about what happened, especially with those who you trust. Get professional help from a trauma-informed service. Email for self-referral with the word ‘trauma’ or ‘help’ or ‘incident’ in the subject line. This means that you should not need to explain further. You may not think you need this, but if within 3–4 weeks you are still experiencing intrusive thoughts it is absolutely essential that you get this help for your brain to integrate what has happened in a healthy way.
Read more about how your amazing brain is processing here
Copyright Flourish: A Practical and Emotional Guidebook to Thriving in Midwifery by Kate Greenstock 2023. Pinter & Martin Ltd. Illustrations by Jo Bradshaw. No reproduction without permission.
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